A Biblical Perspective on Sex

If you are married, you have made several vows to your spouse along the lines of:

"To love, honor, and cherish,
To have and to hold,
For richer, for poorer,
For better, for worse,
In sickness and in health,
Forsaking all others,
'Til death do us part."

That's a lot of vows, but there is nothing in there that could be misconstrued as a vow of celibacy.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Sex is not only permissible or acceptable, but honorable within the framework of marriage.

Exodus 20:14
Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Sex is unacceptable to do or even think about outside the framework of marriage.

I Corinthians 7:1-9
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Sex within marriage serves to help us avoid fornication by giving us a legitimate outlet for our natural desires and needs (v. 2). Husbands and wives are both instructed to take care of each other's needs (v. 3). We are told that we have exclusive rights to each other's bodies, but not our own (v. 4).

Notice that verses three and four do not give any conditions in which we can withhold ourselves from our spouses. We are not told that we are to give ourselves to each other only if we are in the mood, or want to, or feel like it. We are not told it is acceptable to deny our spouses if we are angry at them, or not attracted to them anymore, or their health is failing and they are not able to go and do things or work and support us the way they once did. It doesn't even say that we only have to honor this if our spouse is living a godly life. We are to willingly give ourselves to our spouses anytime, 24/7/365.

We read in verse five the only time it is acceptable to deny our spouses of their rights. If both the husband and wife consent to it, then they may refrain from sex for a time of fasting and prayer, provided they get together again as soon as it's over to avoid temptation. How long can you and your spouse go without eating? You should never go any longer than that without making love to each other, and you shouldn't even go that long unless you both consent to it and use the time for prayer and fasting.

It is interesting that the only acceptable time to refrain from marital relations involves fasting. Sex is to a marriage what good, nutritious food is to a body. Sex outside of marriage is like junk food. It may seem good for a time, but it will destroy you. If married couples refrained from eating on days that they refrained from getting together, many of them would have died of starvation long ago, yet many of them cannot figure out why they are so miserable in their marriages. Many marriages fail because one of the partners isn't being fed the good, nutritious "food" of marriage and will end up gorging on "junk food" when the opportunity presents itself.

If you pen up a dog and don't feed it, then someone comes along offering it a treat, whose fault is it when the dog jumps the fence? If it has been less than a day, the dog should have enough confidence that you will be feeding it soon that it can resist a stranger's treats. If it has been a longer time, the dog has cause to be concerned that you aren't planning to feed it and be more compelled to jump the fence. Seldom is marital unfaithfulness solely the fault of only one spouse. It takes two to make a marriage work, and it usually takes two to make one fail. Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership with each spouse giving half. Divorce is 50/50 with each spouse getting half. Marriage is 100/100, with each spouse giving their all to protect and nourish the marriage to keep it strong and healthy.

A lot of Christians, in an attempt to justify their unholy attitudes toward their spouses, will point to verse six and claim that since this is by permission and not by commandment they don't have to live by it. They need to keep reading through the next few verses. Paul was saying we are permitted, but not commanded, to get married. Paul was able to contain his sexual desires, and was saying that it is better for he and those like him to remain single. He was clarifying that it's perfectly ok to stay single if you don't struggle with lust and sexual temptations. Verse nine clearly tells us that if we cannot contain our sexual desires like Paul could, then "it is better to marry than to burn."

Chick-fil-A

I've been hearing a lot of criticism of Christians for supporting Chick-fil-A. The main complaints have been that Jesus told us to spread the gospel, feed the hungry, take care of the poor, etc... . They say that supporting Chick-fil-A doesn't fit into any of these categories, so it must be wrong. Was it wrong for Christians to eat there before this came up? Is it wrong to eat at any other fast food place? Why would it be wrong to choose one restaraunt over another? Why should it make any difference who else is eating there on any given day? If I want Chick-fil-A, I go to Chick-fil-A (at least I would if we had one in this area), if I want McDonalds, I go to McDonalds, and if I want Dairy Queen, I go to Dairy Queen. 

As much time as Jesus spent teaching, preaching, and caring for the poor, He also took time to eat and rest. One of my biggest concerns in all of this is the fact that even some Christians are judging other Christians for showing our support. They point out how much time it took standing in line for food and say that time could have been better spent witnessing to the lost. Unless they can honestly say that they never have an hour or two pass that they aren't witnessing to someone, they are being hypocrites.

Some say that a lot of the people who showed up in support of Chick-fil-A are not Christians, so we shouldn't be standing with them. Different people have different reasons for standing for any cause. While some may be motivated by religious beliefs, others may be motivated by personal preferences, past experience, emotions, or any other factor that has helped to make them who they are. We can't help what anyone else does. We each have the sole responsibility for our own actions and decisions. As Christians we should stand on our convictions, regardless of who else might be standing nearby.

This all started when Dan T. Cathy, a devoted Christian and the President of Chick-fil-A, was asked about his beliefs in an interview and he gave an honest answer. Anyone who knew anything about him or his business practices should not have been surprised that he believes in the Bible's teachings on marriage. The worldly media saw this as an opportunity to attack a Christian and try to destroy his business. It inspires me to see the great outpouring of support for this man and his business. Mr. Cathy didn't abandon his faith in the face of all the hate and threats that have been spewed at him, and God has blessed him as a result.

Isaiah 54:17 

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.

It Needs More Salt

Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
-- Matthew 5:13 KJV

Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be seasoned? It is neither fit for the land, nor yet for the dunghill; but men cast it out. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.
-- Luke 14:34-35 KJV

Jesus said that we (Christians) are the “salt of the earth.” Over the years this phrase has become somewhat cliché, but have you ever really thought about what He meant by this?
Salt has played an important role throughout the history of man. It serves many purposes, including:

1. Adding Flavor – This is the most common use today. Job 6:6a says, “Can that which is unsavoury be eaten without salt?” To a lost world, the Christian lifestyle is considered unsavoury. Who wants to give up all the things they enjoy? As Christians, we add flavor by being examples of how enjoyable the Christian life can be. If we lose that flavor, or the joy in our Christian walk, the world sees this as proof that their assessment of Christianity was right and “cast it out.”

2. Preserving – Before refrigeration, salt was used to preserve meat. As Christians, we preserve the world because while we are still in it, the Holy Ghost is in it too, dwelling inside us. Once that presence is gone, then there will be tribulation unlike anything the world has ever seen. As 2 Thessalonians 2:7 says, “For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way.” According to the 1828 edition of Webster’s Dictionary, the word “let” in this passage is defined as “To retard; to hinder; to impede; to interpose obstructions.”

3. Cleansing – A common home remedy for a sore or scratchy throat is to gargle with salt water. There are many other remedies and cleaning tips involving salt that I won’t go into here, but a search on Google for “salt cleansing” produces a wide variety of results. As Christians, we cleanse the world by taking a stand against wickedness and working to overcome it. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 16:13, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.”

4. Irritant – Salt can also irritate when it is in contact with a wound. As Christians, we tend to irritate those who are caught up in sin. You can see a good example of that by clicking here. Luke 6:22-23 says, “Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. Rejoice ye in that day, and leap for joy: for, behold, your reward is great in heaven: for in the like manner did their fathers unto the prophets.” As Kent Hovind has said, “If you’re not irritating somebody, you’re not doing it right.”

One final thought: Jesus said that we are the salt of the earth. Does the Bible have anything else to say about salt? Leviticus 2:13 says, “And every oblation of thy meat offering shalt thou season with salt; neither shalt thou suffer the salt of the covenant of thy God to be lacking from thy meat offering: with all thine offerings thou shalt offer salt.” All the tithes and offerings you can give in your whole life will not amount to anything if you do not give of yourself.